actually didnt want you to come today de... but you wanna come then you come lor.. =p well... i didnt know how mummy would react to the situation but so far so good =D she didnt say much abt your presence. so i think you are officially my ** le. haha.. you are happy right?

so, its your first time coming to my house as my dear. bought oranges and kiwi for us. so funny i always tease you. likewise you always do that too... thanks for staying for dinner. i think you got points added to your account le. =D i was rather surprised when mummy cooked a big plate of prawns.. wah...! luckily you like prawns.. hehe.. today is so wonderful =D

then we still can talk to jy on video calling.. so funny you suddenly pop out.

its a nice day =)

thanks for making it happen. thanks for showing that you care. im glad i met you (Despite jy's attempts to introduce you to me)

=D

animals living in the desert do not come out all the time. they would usually hide in their holes or burrows. for instance the desert mouse. it doesnt drink water and only lives on the seeds. they get water from the moist environment underground and leaves its seeds to absorb water b4 eating it. they wont appear unnecessarily as it posed a danger to them. their predators may prey on them so they rather stay in the cool burrows.

similarly for us, stepping outta our comfort zone is hard. i tried and i have retreated back into my shell. since things are meant to be this way, let it be. perhaps its for the better who knows right?

well the mornig started out boring... cos i had tuition bleahz.. afternn tuition was fine. two new students came.. hmmm im a bit nervous cos kinda weird mah.. new faces.. whatever lah.

afternn met hawk at 4pm. hannah reached only at 5 thereabouts. hmmm... there was a new shop which had its grand opening today. while waiting for hawk to come, i went to have a look. wah.. got free candy floss, popcorn, free instant photo taking, free glittering tattoos.. i took everything hahaha... i had two tattoos.. each on one arm. i love my striking pink tattoo.. the other is juz too faint and blended with my skin colour. then the instant pic with hawk wasnt that nice lah.. i didnt put any makeup today so i looked kinda pale.

ok, hannah reached and did her tattoo too... then we headed to tony roma's for pork ribs.. the cushions were soft and very tall back support. when i raised my hand, i wondered if anyone could spot my fingers.. cos it was juz too tall! the pork ribs were kinda nice cos i ordered babyback ribs.. very tender.. this is the first time i stepped into the restaurant and ate so much ribs!

then we went to carrefour and hannah bought her long wanted fleece blanket. hmmm she got the disney character, small size de blanket.. kinda cheap... congrats!

we then moved on to the DHL balloon! its 23 bucks per person. hawk treated us.. very fun you know... beta than flyer.. cos its open air, you can feel the cool air getting stronger as you moved up.. it was even taller than the golden landmark building... omg... i was having a hard time as it moved up as it was shaky and i thought it was kinda scary. cos you know, flyer is air conned and very slow... but the balloon is open air... so i got kinda scared.. hmmm well, its really a nice experience getting up there though its more ex than flyer... lly more ex than flyer 29.50 for 30m min with air con... i muz go again... bring a beta cam along... very cool! thumbs up!!

next to venture is ducktour... yeah!

ok, we went to bugis and had venezia ice cream. hawk said i can get the 3 flavours de ice cream. first time eating ice cream of so many flavours.. as in, i also sampled their ice cream.. very fun lor.. well this is a kinda once in a lifetime kinda thing cos most of the things are brought to me by hawk!..   omg... so many first times.. tony roma, balloon, glittering tattoos, 3 flavours ice cream.. very fun! hope hannah and hawk enjoyed themselves as much as i did!

hols isnt very much like hols la... still hav to work.. but no sch is indeed good. juz on expenses, i can save a lot. do you know it costs me abt 5-6 bucks juz on transport. and 1.5 hours lor. c'mon... lousy transport! if drive there even worse.. with the rising petrol prices of current $2/L i think i need about 12 bucks for a two way trip. really bad man. food prices rising too.. luckily NIE canteen de food still maintain same price. hmm... feeling so tired.. maybe i have lazy bones. well... my student said my skin is getting worse.. i agree totally.. muz be my diet and my late sleeping hours.. shucks i didnt sleep enough for 2-3 days... and my face flared like crazy.. OMG... but im trying to tame it down. but on the other hand, i have many packets of kinder bueno! i juz ate 2 packets in the morning.. -_-||

tml is sunday.. hmmm... i think i should be meeting hawk ba. dunno abt the rest.. come ok? =)

next week is another busy week but i shall make good use of my free time =D

very tiring day today haha.. but ok lah.. still considered a bit fun..

woke up 7+am (slept at 2am lor) then laze a while then printed the e-tickets for singapore flyer for 2 ppl.. pig and i... my niece gets to sit for free =)

then left house too late so we were late, as usual.. ahha... in the end we took cab to the venue.. sian lah.. not many ppl there de... its as if there will be many ppl but no leh.. the ride was very slow cos 30 min mah.. then at first still interesting but after a while very bored le. nothing much to see.. servant said have to bring binoculars mah.. which i didnt bring -_-||| and my niece was bored of taking pics le.. oops... posed too much le.. pig started to take video and pics of the buildings.. i disturbed him by videoing him and my niece.. cos they look kinda alike.. haha..

we walked back to the malls by foot. my niece should be feeling hot and tired i guess. luckily i had umbrella to shelter her all the way... then we had lunch at imperial treasure at ms. not forgetting all time favorite.. ARCADE.. my niece also likes it and she spent abt 3 bucks... ermm very funnily she doesnt know how to play and doesnt concentrate on playing but look ard most of the time. very funny.. both pig and i were laughing at her (very very bad of us)

then after playing comes food again.. secret recipe de cakes... one slice of each of us. niece takes blackforest, while pig gets cheese choc.. i got myself choc mud. pig's not bad, mine is a bit too sweet.. niece couldnt finish the food cos lunch was heavy!

went to buy a set of clothes for my niece after that cos she cried (didnt wanna see doc for her flu) so have to bribe her lor... lol... fat pig, laughed at me at FOX... irritaing person... *fumed* well anyway, we left for the clinic leaving pig behind to oink in the cinema (ironman).. ms de gv so ex de.. weekday also need to pay 8.50 bucks.. heng i didnt watch with him otherwise heartache.

bus 16 came soon as we reached the bus stop.. surprisingly, its the most handsome bus captain with the heart of gold and tact! too bad we had to leave for the clinic... the consultation with the doc was very fast and we got the med. hmm then reach home cos another bus 16 came fast too.. nice luck! then gave her her med then i went to rest le.. ok, i chatted... both online and on phone with my servant. as always wasting his time and batt. video called jy too.. so nice to talk to him after so long.. how i wish i could go... hate you servant!

went for tuition after dinner and the tuition was shortened cos my student wanna watch tv -_-|||... so next lesson will be 2.5 hours lor... tml morning i need to wake up early cos havent cleaned up my room and mop the floor.. how are my frens gonna sit on the floor? poor ppl... =p pig, too bad you not coming... happy working! bleahz***

exams over = freedom!

kinda tired but cannot fall aslp leh.. dunno why.. maybe too excited dunno how to sleep ba... very fun today cos can spend a lot... well, thats kinda alot and i kinda overspent! oops... mummy will not reimburse de lor... sobsob... nvm lah...

you know what i bought to make the trolley full? haha... well, plus shopping at cold storage...
1.   4 X 10kg rice
2.   12 kinder buenos
3.   2 packets of mixed veg
4.   6 eggs
5.   2 bottles of tomato sauce
6.   2 bags of toilet papers
7.   2 packets of tissue papers
8.   5 boxes of tissue papers
9.   2 electrical extension thingie
10. 2 x 6 packets of drinks
11. 6 packets of soya drink
12. 2 x 1L milk
13. 5 oranges
14. 1 bunch of bananas
15. 4 X cans of milk maid
16. one packet of paper plates, one packet of forks, one packet of cups, one packet of spoons
17. one lettuce
18. ermm i forgot le =)

so fun right... when on earth will you go grocery shopping and buy so many until the whole trolley is full??

i came across my fren's msn nick... shown above. hmmm i used to think alot abt this.. feeling unhappy cos i feel that my bf is not loving me as much as i love him.. its only when im single, i start to think in another way...

everyone is different. the way you show your love is in fact how you wish to be loved, but everyone does that differently and not every act of love is accepted in another's perceptions. thats why i always feel upset when my bf doesnt love me the way i want him to love me.. similarly, he may be feeling that way too. actually these measurements of love cannot be measured isnt it? cos we are using different currencies of love to love someone...

dunno lah... love is a scary thing. cos its too subjective and too fragile and too expensive to maintain... time, money, efforts are all required...

well... gonna sleep soon.. shall continue to study tml morning =)

question: why do you call yourself happie?

me: *pondered for a while* cos im lacking it.

sometimes im juz like a disproportionation reaction. i get reduced and oxidised. i get so confused of what i want. i wanna get this result but i do something else to avoid it. im always weighing my pros and cons and worse still, i put my feelings into it. thats what a libran is perhaps, or it may juz be me. i think ppl around me feel weird and xinku at times ba. poor ppl, thanks for tolerating me.

i dunno whether its me who caused my past, or somehow somewhere someone also involved in it. i wanna feel happie, i really do. somehow the kinda happiness isnt eternal, its transient and short-lived. after everything comes invisible scars which accompany me, even longer than the happiness which came before that.

happie isnt happie. juz a lonely soul, searching for a support... money, knowledge, frens, family... nothing more. the rest are not strong pillars.. this is what happie thinks for now.

everything is juz a facade.

time to study..

slept at 330am, not bcos i was so hardworking. simply chatting on the phone. only went back to studies at 3am. ermm, managed to finish quite a fair bit, i guess im the slowest in my class though. i can imagine my classmates finishing the whole module of notes maybe 3-5 times and memorising so well.. whatever lah.. hmmm... raining means gloomy.. its so cold outside.. now its so dark in the house... i like rainy days.. except for the noise that is produced. its cold, its not glaring... so that i dun get headaches. left 1.5 parts of bio-inorg and 3 parts of bio-org and i shall revise on transition metals too juz in case bio-inorg questions pop something like that.. i wanna get my A! i feel that kinda struggle in me. to do well and to slack. i believe i can lah. do you believe in me? it doesnt matter if you do or dun, the results are the so called proof... freedom day is coming.. i can sense it!

*energy level low*

tea makes me awake, either i can sleep but wake up early or i cant sleep and still wake up early...